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I have no chips on my shoulders about childhood issues, financial problems, or past trauma. Having issues like this do not make you a bad person, they just are not for me. I have led a great life and no personal issues and I am looking for someone who feels the same. I am attending medical school after grad school, so I am very educated and must have someone who is an intellectual and can communicate on a high level. I am smart, cute,and have a great personality, so why Am I single, well the answer is simple most men are intimidated by an intelligent, beautiful woman who knows what she wants.
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I'm not sure where to begin or even what to say. I guess I'll begin with the obvious. I'm lonely, incredibly lonely would be more like it. Because I'm lonely I find myself feeling sad at times. Sad enough that I would consider myself depressed at times. Not so that I would consider myself cliniy depressed. I believe all all three of these things are intertwined.
I'm sad and depressed because I'm lonely. Plain and simple. I don't need a therapist or a psychiatrist to diagnose me with anything other than what I am aware of. The one thing I am not nor have I ever been is suicidal and for that I am truly thankful and grateful to my Higher Power.
I'm not a Christian nor do I believe in any sort of man made religion. I am a spiritual man and I consider my spiritual beliefs as strong as any religious beliefs. If you knew me you would think I have my shit together. I'm sure my family, friends and co-workers realize that that somethings amiss. They just don't know the depth of my loneliness. I've not shared that with anyone except HP. It's gotten to the point to where I can't watch movies or television shows where romance or intimacy is the main attraction. Even music, especially certain love songs affect me the same way and anyone that knows me knows I love my music and have always been a fan of slow jams.
So what's a man to do? Truthfully speaking, I honestly believe that when God is ready for me to be in a relationship, he'll send the right woman my way. In fact, I'm sure I won't even see her coming however this doesn't keep me from looking in all directions everyday. As I get towards the end of this posting, I feel a whole lot better already even if it's only temporary. The bottom line is 'm still going to bed alone tonight.
I want to cuddle with the right woman, talk about how our days went, laugh at corny jokes and settle disputes without physical violence or with words that are hurtful. I want some PDA You military folks understand that. I work full times and am on most nights as well. I own my own place. I have everything I want and need except a great woman. Didn't know I would get this long winded so I'll end with this. Please don't confuse my kindness for weakness and if you're looking for a sugar daddy, I ain't he.
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