Added: Jonica Marrs - Date: 07.07.2022 21:30 - Views: 31227 - Clicks: 3050
The tantrums you threw as a toddler were responses to losing control. You lost control because you lost control. Mommy said no. The issue is how you express your desire for control, not the desire itself. Control freaks diminish or destroy:.
The trouble with control freaks is they waste themselves on trivialities. Become a fanatic about something big and beautiful. How might leaders channel their inner control freak? Thanks ctrappe. Plus it wears you down! Control freaks are often exhausted and frustrated.
Great ideas! 9 is brief but so important. 10 was always my goal and sometimes my downfall. Lead on! Sorry for the delay in answering your question. Yes, I was always much harder on myself than anyone else, to the extreme that I felt guilty when I took time off -especially if I was out of town or out of touch for any length of time.
The beauty of hindsight! I am not denying the nature of controlling freaks but I want to understand what fear make them to control or why control or 2. Are we bargaining on a style or we are in mode of acceptance whatever being said or creating a world where this style wrapped in velvet glove. Even mother nature never control anything belive participative world This is my opinion only. Thanks Vinay. Hats off to your comment.
Another message I love from Dale Carnegie: Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save face? If he did not ask for your opinion, why argue with him? Always avoid the acute angle. Thanks Jenn. I think willingness to allow others to be right is a tough for control freaks. Successful leaders show respect. Dan, I would like to respectfully challenge your thinking here. When you begin from a questionable premise and quote Churchill about fanaticism his contemporaries and other fanatics include Hitler, Stalin and Mao you traverse shaky ground.
Your beginning list about the inherent problems with controlling is actually an argument against being a control freak at all — your second list is a justification for behaviours and ways of being that are associated with immaturity — who wants to remain at the egocentric stage of adolescence? I call on you to revise your view, and ask whether you can change your mind? In my view a leader who can listen to others and change their mind when it becomes clear that they have erred is a much better leader than one who blunders on because they can never change their mind.
Sometimes we set out to demonstrate or prove our point of view, such as the premise that if you are not a control freak then you are a poor leader and a wimp when we might be better off beginning with a question. Is it ok to be a control freak? Cheers from Australia Peter.
I believe Winston Churchill was fanatical about his cause to see England win. The difference between people like Hitler and Churchill is the nobility of their mission. But, both were fanatics. Point taken. I love this Dan! Thanks for writing it. Thanks Ralph. Your suggestion makes sense to me. Thanks Ken. Those of us who are dealing with being control freaks know the stress we create for ourselves and others. Often misunderstood by formal corporate culture and often first to get shot.
Thanks Gary. Your approach softens the blow of control freak. Do you think Mavericks try to control others? They are the developers of the New and Improved labels. By changing the norms they do control others, kind of a back door approach. As a leader of a diverse team sometimes I think I can control people, an illusion of mine. Better to change the environment so that they want to change. Example if i turn the AC on eventually people will put coats on.
Or are we discussing determination and tenacity? There is a big difference to me. Perhaps I am misunderstanding. Can someone help guide me on this one? Great post by the way. Thanks for the follow-up to your November 30th post Dan! In response to your question of what would I consider as responses to the 7 triggers of Control Freaks Tantrums, your whispering 5 in this post would be a good one! To take that concept a bit further, whether as a response to your own tantrum or a preemptive approach, acknowledging we are deeply flawed human beings is a good place to start because it breeds a humble approach.
And it is considerably harder to be a control freak while being humble. Personally, my controlling nature takes a break and my stress level goes down when I spend time reading the Bible and praying in the morning and throughout the day. It is the ultimate lovingly humbling experience that helps keep me grounded and fair, in both my response to myself and others. I completely agree that some managers are control freaks.
I think that some managers learn from their managers bad habits, but the message is lost somewhere along the way in what a leaders role actually is. Personally, I have become a leader in my field because I am passionate about what I do and I like the idea of being part of something that helps the world become a better place. Because I am passionate, tenacious, never give up, and encourage others to do the same wields the traits that help us focus on the end goal. However, instead of forcing others to do a specific job, I encourage innovative thought and the inventive process. Encouraging people to live just outside their comfort zone is where life exists and grows.
By leading in this way, you teach people to liberate the free will of others. They just get enough energy out of people to fulfill their own objectives instead of focusing on potential. Through growing and constantly reinventing myself, I found new ways to channel energy. Watching a team of people becoming inventive in their curious nature is an amazing thing to see.
To become part of that team and to channel energy to the collective end goal is truly inspiring. Let them contribute. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google . You are commenting using your Twitter . You are commenting using your Facebook . Notify me of new comments via . Notify me of new posts via . This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.The control freak
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Think You Might Be a "Control Freak"? Here's How to Find Balance