Using reverse psychology in dating

Added: Latina Mcgrady - Date: 31.03.2022 10:29 - Views: 47762 - Clicks: 5348

What is reverse psychology, really, and is it good or bad for our relationships? So what is reverse psychology? In advertising, certainly. Research shows that, even if we are uncomfortable with the manipulation, we end up still interested in the product sold to us with reverse psychology. In relationships? Perhaps not so much, given the long term losses for the short-term gain. More on that below. Reactance theory suggests that if we feel our freedom to behave the way we want is being limited or threatened, we are motivated to regain that freedom.

You are banking on the fact that they will be motivated to fight what you are pretending to take off the table. A study that interviewed university students saw come up with a valid example of when they recently used reverse psychology on someone, and most reported doing so at least once a month.

And then we have things like:. This quote is from the above study looking at how often university students spoke in opposites to get what they wanted. The study actually found that the most common use of reverse psychology amongst students was in fact to gain reassurance from others.

Like any form of manipulation, there are dangers to using this tactic in your relationships. Then the relationship is essentially founded on lies. If you are consistently being dishonest, even over silly things, like what restaurant you want to go to? It can all add up to the other person not trusting you. Always using reverse psychology also affects your own capacity to trust. It means you never give others the opportunity to communicate directly with you.

How can you learn to trust that some people will respect what you need and want, and find a healthy compromise with you? By: Robert Ashworth. Or potentially decide they no longer want anything to do with you. And there is not really much you can say in defence, given that you consciously chose to manipulate. Long-term relationships that are healthy and help us grow as a person require trust, honesty, and that we be ourselves. If you constantly say the opposite of what you want or feel, and constantly rely on manipulating others to boost your self- esteem?

Over time, you risk losing touch with your identity and your inner resources. Addictive behaviours happen when something helps us escape emotional pain. If we are using reverse psychology to boost our self-esteem and we start to rely on it to lift our spirits, it could become addictive. What does reverse psychology mean for personal growth? Reverse psychology can have its uses. If you must spend time with someone who loves picking fights and upsetting you, like a family member , and you have already had a bad day? Perhaps you choose to pretend you want to see one film in order to avoid seeing a horror film that will scare you.

So yes, we sometimes need short-term solutions in the name of self-care. But we also need to think of long-term consequences and ask good questions. They do not have an agenda to get something from you. Therapies like person-centred counselling are instead looking for a way to create space for you to see something from a different perspective , and find your own answers that work for you. Talk me through your reasons.

Need help to stop manipulating others? Try a talk therapist from our highly rated and well-regarded team of London-based experts. Or use our booking platform to find a registered therapist across the UK. Ask below. Note we are unable to provide free counselling via comments. Book Therapy Here. What is Attachment Disorder?

Using reverse psychology in dating

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What is Reverse Psychology? And is it Damaging Your Relationships?